I’m A Slut and I Endorse This Message

By Addis Foche

I’ve been called a slut more times than I can remember. By people at school, by random musty men on the street, and once by my grandma (but she meant it in a joking way, I think).

Were they incorrect when using this whorephobic language to describe a young black person? That’s arguable, but that’s also not the point of this article.

A past version of myself dealt with trauma by way of hypersexuality, which can be defined as overindulging in sexual activity, as a way to regain power or control. I’m not angry with Old Addis for reacting this way, and if you’ve been through any kind of trauma then I encourage you not to be hard on yourself either. We did the best that we could with the information that we had.

So yeah, I’ve had sex with a lot of people. Like….a lot. And that’s neither shameful nor prideful in my opinion; it just is. I remember looking at a photo of the soccer team in college and being able to pick out 10 people that I hooked up with at some point. If you know, you know.

This hypersexual behavior enmeshed with manic depression also meant that I often had trouble taking care of myself physically: from the time I was in the ER with gonorrhea (which in case you were unaware, is curable with a week’s worth of antibiotics!), to the numerous UTIs I contracted from forgetting to pee after sex, to the incident where when walking in my college town with my best friend I pulled a condom from inside of me that should have disposed of the night before. Again: if you know, you know.

Enter Nakey: a sheet mask (shaped like a triangle) for your vulva that features plant-based ingredients such as aloe, chamomile, coconut oil, and witch hazel. I had never seen a product that was made not only with “my muff in mind”, as written on its packaging, but also with my lived sexual experience in mind. The ingredients are natural, just like my hypersexuality response; and it’s made for relaxation, which is healing that I never gave myself.

"Nakey’s bridge of sexual wellness and sexual liberation that is additionally also driven by self love is particularly unique. As a black woman with history of addiction, mental health struggles, and sexual assault I love that they also offer a genital examination mirror."

Nakey’s bridge of sexual wellness and sexual liberation that is additionally also driven by self love is particularly unique. As a black woman with history of addiction, mental health struggles, and sexual assault I love that they also offer a genital examination mirror. When having sex with all of these people I saw myself as the object and not the subject; owning something whose purpose is to focus on me helps me love Addis a lot more. 

I’m a slut; I’m a whore; I’m bimbo. And I’m highkey okay with that! There is extreme power, control, self love, and healing that comes with redefining the facets your sexual identity. I am proof of that, and I believe that I am not alone in this re-discovery. 

Thank you, Nakey, for being a part of my sexual understanding, my health regimen, and my self love recipe. I urge all of my fellow sluts, and conservative cuties, to construct yours in your own way too. 

Addis Fouché is a 26 year old writer, blog founder, content creator, and $ex W3rk3r located in Brooklyn. She is passionate about sexual liberation, addiction recovery, and breaking stigmas. Do: ask her to grab a matcha with you! Don’t: serve her Nutella, she’s allergic.